A Sort of Homecoming

I have four clocks on the mantelpiece above my fireplace.

One tells the actual time.

One is set for 5:10-ish AM, the time Caeley was born.

One is set for 3 pm, the time of Jamey and my wedding.

And the last?

The last was a clock that had previously been used to tell time.

That is, until the battery exploded inside it.

I liked the look of the clock(and I was going for symmetry on the mantlepiece arrangement) so I kept that defunct clock on the wall, frozen at the time it died–approx 2:40.

I can’t tell you if it was 2:40 am or pm.

I can tell you this:

I received a delivery in the mail today–a peace lily from Jamey’s former co-workers at TD Bank.

Today marks the third anniversary of his passing and every year, without fail, his former co-workers send us something to mark the date.

As the years pass, fewer and fewer people remember.

It’s ok.

It’s understandable.

That’s what happens as time passes.

So every year, the people that do remember–the texts, the emails, the thoughtful gestures, carry that much more significance.

After opening the peace lily this year, I was faced with a dilemma–where to place it.

My two cats are notorious plant-gobblers, so I had to choose a rare spot that they couldn’t access.

So I chose here:

The plant now rests (hopefully) safely on my mantelpiece.

It’s slightly obscuring one of my clocks–the one that marks the hour Jamey and my wedding began.

It’s also directly below that now defunct 2:40-ish maybe am/maybe pm clock that I liked the looks of but really just kept up there for symmetry.

And oh, also, another thing to mention about that 2:40-ish clock that’s been retired to my mantelpiece for about 10 years now—-

It also marks the approximate time that Jamey passed away.

That’s a fact I didn’t realize until reading through all of my old Headed Into Overtime posts today.

It’s been three years and I’d never made that connection.

Now listen, I’m not looking to make any crazy cosmic connections.

I’m not claiming “this is a sign” or “he’s speaking to me” or “this is a message from beyond the grave”.

I know people think that and I respect their beliefs.

And I hope they respect mine when I say I’m not a believer in such things.

It’s an odd coincidence; a happy accident to me.

And that’s ok.

Coincidence or sign, it made an otherwise pretty crappy day a lot better.

So on this thirsaversary of Jamey’s passing I’d like to share some lines of his favorite song by his favorite band.

I was listening to it a lot today and although it made me cry, it also brought me solace.

So, HOTties, my advice to you today is this:

Hang lots of different clocks in your house all set to different times. You’ll never know which one’s battery might stop at a significant moment in your life.

A Sort of Homecoming

By U2

“And your hear beats so slow

Through the rain and fallen snow

Across the fields of mourning

Lights in the distance.

Oh! Don’t sorrow no don’t weep

For tonight at last

I am coming home.

I am coming home.”

6 thoughts on “A Sort of Homecoming

  1. Lovely piece on a sad day. Been thinking of you both today, actually all three. 🙁 I hope you at least had some time to reflect on the happy times and fond memories


  2. Oh, I just love that, thank you for the wonderful post. Maybe happy accidents are consoling, loving little gifts from God. Whatever it is, it’s got some mighty loving and gentle mojo going on for you.
    So while I’m here…..Do you take requests on topics? Hospice would be a good one. Transitioning into hospice,
    I am once again reading thru this blog from the start. it’s the best record I have found anywhere of what it’s like to bring in hospice because of among other things, safety issues. I’m sorry to say I’m having to look into a hospice option for the same reasons you did and I now understand why it wasn’t odd to do a high-five and fist-pump,when you made it.

    God Bless,
    Judy Donley


    • Oh, Judy!
      My heart says “I’m so sorry” but my mind says, “finally”. To anyone who doesn’t know what we’ve weathered, that might sound cold, but I thiink you get it.
      Not sure how ok you are sharing details in a public forum, but I am absolutely eager to field any question you might have about the topic. I don’t have all the answers but I’m more than happy to help you find them.
      I could always also give you my personal email address if sharing info on here isnt your cup of tea.
      Please know I’m here.


  3. Hi Judy—just realized my response to your post from last week never went through and, for some reason, was posted as an anonymous “Someone”, not me.
    Rest assured, as soon as I read what you’d written, I responded.
    As I’ve said before, this WordPress site is frustrating at times.
    Please let me know what I can help with.


    • Providence always looking out for me 🙂 just got the notion to look waaaay back in my emails tonight, thought I’d see if there was anymore chatter here and was so touched by you responses. I’d be happy to discuss things here with you, or we can email. It’s all fine with me, whatever is shared here could help someone else.
      I don’t want to be hijacking the nice give and take moments moments of the replies to your posts, it’s up to you. I just clicked on the button so I will get notified of new comments. Do you have my email from my participation? If not I will post it for you, no prob.

      God Bless, have a good Mother’s Day,


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