01/18/2015: Shopping for Death Shrouds at Target

Screen Shot 2015-01-31 at 10.27.36 PMThe hospital bed came with a sterile-white fitted sheet(this, I believe, was unused.) Although I’m sure it’s a practical choice(can easily be laundered/bleached if “soiled”) it made the bed look so…so….depressing. Caeley and I decided to take a trip to Target to spruce it up a bit. The guy I think was maybe named Steve told us that, much like dorm room beds, these beds took extra-long twin sheets.  I remember the great difficulty my mom and I faced some 20+ years ago when we were faced with a similar task of finding nice looking extra-long twin sheets. I think we settled on a hideous pink and red rose pattern when I went away to college. Maybe that horrific pattern is what encouraged me to drop out of school half-way through my second semester. Caeley and I faced a similar, choice-limited journey. We settled on a charcoal grey and blue bed sheet. I was going to go for matching dust ruffle, comforter and duvet, but realized I was starting to become exceptionally impractical. We walked into Target with one goal–buy extra long twin bedsheets. We walked out with the sheets. And birdseed. And several pints of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food because it was on sale. And a dustpan/brush combo because “someone” had used my good one to clean up the used cat litter and now the brush reeks of pee and every time I use it on the floor, I’m convinced that the floor is now contaminated and smells like pee.  And several other random, unplanned items that I impulsively purchased because that’s how Target makes its money. We went home, I washed the sheets and Caeley made the bed. Then she proceeded to drag all of her pillows, dolls, and every blanket she’s ever owned downstairs and set up camp. She had found her new home. She begged me to sleep on the couch that night to keep her company since “it was ok if I didn’t sleep ok since it’s not like I have to work tomorrow(MLK Day).” I slept on the couch. And I slept ok.

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