Quick follow-up

#love

Hello HOTties! I know, I know–you’re all in shock.

First I don’t post for months at a time, then you’re blasted with posts from me within a 12 hour period.

Go figure.

I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been really touched by the comments, both public and private, I’ve received in the past day.

It means a lot.

I also wanted to clarify a few things.

Although it does indeed seem like I and my family may be snake-bitten or jinxed or experiencing a hazy deja-vu of sorts, I don’t believe that to be the case.

Although Jamey and my mom’s situation may be slightly different because they were both diagnosed while relatively young, having more than one family member battling dementia is not uncommon.

Worldwide Alzheimer’s Prevalence
In fact,  nearly 50 million people worldwide are estimated to be impacted by some form of dementia.

Research indicates that number is likely to increase markedly–to almost 75 million–by 2030.

These statistics only represent those impacted by dementia(of which there are currently over 100 recognized types–the most common being Alzheimer’s).

These stats don’t include neurological damage due to TBIs–Traumatic Brain Injuries–a common result of an individual experiencing some form of insult to the brain.

Crassly and bluntly put, there’s a ton of people worldwide losing their minds and themselves–literally.

And each one of those people has family and friends who will also be impacted greatly—sometimes  even more greatly–than the diagnosed individual him or herself.

So my family experience isn’t really that unusual.

And as we age(groan, but it’s true)and our family and friends age, the likelihood that you’ll find yourself standing in my Manolo Blahniks increases, statistically speaking.

I’m not suggesting this to inject some viral panic, rather to inoculate, in a sense.

What happened to Jamey sucks.

What’s happening to my mom sucks.

What may happen to your husband or mom or grandad some day will equally suck.

One of the only reasons I’m handling this all as well as I am is because Ive entered into this armed for battle.

I have the knowledge of where this is headed.

Sure, it’s still depressing, but having knowledge gives me security; it allows for a modicum of stability in an otherwise unstable and chaotic situation.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not all rational and pragmatic and logical.

I hurt.

I hurt for my dad.

I hurt for my mom.

I hurt for my siblings, my mom and dad’s siblings, their friends.

I hurt for Caeley.

I really, really hurt for Caeley.

The short and long-lasting impacts that these debilitating diseases have had on all of us have been and will continue to be significant, perhaps life-altering.
But my family’s shared dealt-hand of dementia could’ve seen much more dire endings.

Jamey died in a faciltiy that was as close to home as we could’ve hoped for.

He died peacefully and with family present.

Not everyone has that same end after being diagnosed with cancer.

My mom, too, will die in a facility that is as close to home as possible.

I’m hopeful she will, when the time comes, die as peacefully and surrounded by family as Jamey did.

Not everyone has that same end after being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

So yes, it’s terrible and sad and painful that our family is facing this once again so soon after Jamey’s passing.

But–I’ll break tradition and be an optimist here–both final journeys have been blessings; the best send-off that any one of us could have imagined.

So while I appreciate your concerns and thoughts and prayers regarding  how difficult this has been–and will continue to be–I also ask that you counter those thoughts or prayers with thanks.

In both cases, we have been lucky or blessed enough to have as wonderful an end to a horrific situation as could have been imagined.

#love

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8 Comments

  1. I love your attitude and your love, dear Kim. And I’m pretty sure Dr. Kennedy would be pleased with your writing! She was my MALS advisor too! Thanks for keeping us all posted XO Mrs. McManus 😊

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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  2. Kim you are spot on. I was really glad to read this post. Attitude is everything. Thank you

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    1. Thanks, Joanne. I am definitely not always so positive about this/these situation(s), but I try.

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  3. Hi there Ma’am, good to see this post. Glad that you recognize the blessings and graces. It helps. No matter how much one is propped up by that unseen hand, having a parent in hospice is so sad and intense. :(( Life is hard.

    yes, I’m there with ya, knowledge is the balm for my anxieties. That’s why blogs like yours are so important to the rest of us stumbling around out here.

    Prayers for you and yours big time.

    Things still growing very slowly ( for now) in my hub’s Olygoastro head these days. Grateful for every day that I still got him. Dealing with geriatric health issues even though he’s just 57. Heart, liver, kidneys are all going to crap at once. He’s got metabolic problems now from years of living with the evil tumor that seems to be eating him up from head to toe. Brain cancer ages a person in so many ways.

    Thank you again, your words are much needed and much appreciated on my end. His world is getting might small and it’s really hard to find respite care so here I am!
    We get to go grocery shopping today. Wheeeeee! Maybe a fun jaunt through Walgreens as well. A ‘big day’ for him. :)))))
    God bless ya’all
    – Judy

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    1. Great to hear from you, Judy.

      I’ve got to be honest—I’ve become so spoiled by your quick responses to my posts that after a few days of not hearing from you I began to worry.

      Suffice it to say, seeing your name pop up in my phon was a welcomed relief.

      I’ll be honest–I often struggle with the point/necessity of the blog anymore.

      I worry that my current life experience is completely one sided–I worry that others will think this is simply my opportunity to complain about my life.
      Even worse, I worry that others may view it as an attention-grabbing ploy–an attempt to rally up sympathy from friends and family.
      When I hear from you–from someone who knows all too well the abject misery, insanity and downright hilarity that is living with someone with a neurological disorder, I feel encouraged.
      Your reactions to my posts remind me of what my original goal was.
      Sadly, you and I both know that there are countless people out there in situations we know all too well…spouses, parents, children, other family, close friends—regardless of the relationship and regardless of the reason(olygastrocytoma, or astrocytoma, or glioblastoma, or vascular dementia, or Lewy bodies dementia or Alzheimer’s, etc)
      We all know how challenging it is to hold hands with rapidly evaporating ghost.
      I will continue to post..I promise. I will post about my mom and dad and their journey towards an end. And I will post about my and Cael’s journey towards a new beginning. And, who knows? If I still have an audience, maybe I’ll eventually post about my dad’s journey towards a new beginning.
      Please know that, as always, as much as I’m no longer much of a praying person, you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.
      –Kim

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  4. Yeah, you’ll have to keep me up on where you go with your future word crafting. I am pretty behind and lacking in terms of social media and too lazy to stalk anyone. I do appreciate your efforts and I know it can be hard to keep doing this. Sometimes I wonder if I won’t want to just burn to the ground all things brain cancer, caregiving, mental floss, etc. in my next life.

    Ahhh…Don’t worry about the amount/kind, whatever of prayer, I’d hazard a guess that your life has been and continues to be one big fat prayer. It could be that those prayers in all forms; sad, grateful, joyful, exhausted,mad, dry as a popcorn fart, are humming along way down deep even though you think you aren’t doing it at all. I think its just a side effect of getting beat down by life. But that’s ok, that’s when it gets really good. And it’s good even if it feels like crap or feels like nothing.

    So we thank you for keeping us in your prayers! I’ll tell my guy. He’s on hour 6 of Jack n Jill EZ crossword puzzles. He found a website where he can cheat, thus he’s always champion of the whole wide world! No shame….

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  5. I vacillate between scorching the brain-tumored earth and grasping at making some sense of/meaning towards what my experience of that time was.

    That’s probably why my posts are so sporadic.

    I’m trying to forget a time I desperately want to remember.

    Oh– I have to admit that I’m pretty sure I don’t have a BT, yet I cheat at crossword puzzles(regardless of their degree of difficulty) all the time!! 🙂

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